~# Run... #

This is what is in my heart...
why will it not enter my mind?



You were God from the outset
Powerful and creative
You who saw us here before you called
All the stars and the earth to existence

You are God you are Holy
History is you story
You, who was and is
And who forever will be
God we live for your Glory

So we will run
All together our hearts aflame
With a fire that can't be tamed
Our God all Glory to your name
Jesus

You are God you are freedom
You're alive now within us
You who saw us here before
You conquered the grave
And delivered on the promise

We will run
Our surrender to bring you fame
Our desire that you be praised
Our God all Glory to your name
Jesus

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My mind which is filled with so many impure thoughts.
Thoughts of rage, anger, wrath and pain...

Need I say more?
I'm not perfect... but I'm trying...



So that's how You want to do things?
This truly is an immaculate display of idiotic blindness...
You do that, You continue to be moulded, to be ordered around, always following and changing so that You can suit His "needs/wants/desires".
Freaking stupid dicks.
Believe me, You are HUMAN You will NEVER be enough to satisfy, when that day comes, when You can no longer fulfil the needs or fulfil the requirements... You will know how painful it truly, so until then; You live Your life how You deem fit. My opinion OBVIOUSLY MEANS NOTHING, MEANS SQUAT to You.
What kind of stupid insecure retard needs to PICK between friends?
How insecure...
How pathetic...
How STUPID...
do you have to be?
Even more STUPID is the IDIOT who actually picks.
I hope You realise that the fact that You were indirectly asked to choose between me and him makes You realise that who actually had the better intentions for You, what kind of a DICK HEAD asks You to choose between friends?
You live with Your decision, I hope You think it is the right one, the one which will keep You happy for your entire life. I hope you NEVER regret it... Once you begin to regret You will realise You have NEITHER.
Well, the fact that You heeded this question and answered PROVES how You are so UNDESERVING of my friendship... I can honestly, sincerely say I would of done almost anything had You just asked with no thought of repayment or bargaining...
Well You made your choice live with it. I have made my choice, I'll live with it.

Have it Your way then, be that way, I can honestly say I tried, I tried to understand and pretend; that didn't work. I tried being harsh so I could be totally honest; that didn't work either. What else can I do or say?
Nothing... All I can do is wait and pray...
So be it.
You have Your own life You live it however You want, I have no control over it.
You will never know what it's like, I hope that it stays that way for Your own sake.
I do find it slightly distressing how You make it out to be my fault, all I can say to that is why the balls don't You try seeing it from my point of view, You stupid ignorant piece of turd; I can no longer contain my bitter resentment. A turd that doesn't deserve even a PORTION of the effort I have and would pour in to You.
I don't need another hindrance to continue to drag and hold me down....................
Especially a pathetic one that can so easily throw people away...

Thanks for making me feel so much worse than I ever should.
Thanks for using me so that You can feel good.
Thanks for wasting all my effort.
Thanks for destroying all my self esteem, trampling all over it.
Thanks for showing me how some people on this earth are...

I would Love to say that this had made me a stronger person; that this has helped me to build my character, that this has refined me as a person...
But no, this has weakened me substantially, to a point where I am unable to trust wholeheartedly in anything, yes I blame You.


I bid You farewell and Adieu...

All acknowledgement of Your existence shall be kept strictly in prayer only...
As I'm "not allowed" to speak to You. It was Your decision, You made it, You keep it.
Actions have consequences, I have a limit, I can only take a certain amount of hits before I give up... I would Love to say that I can keep getting up continuously without any lasting damage... But that just isn't true.


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Isaiah 40:8

8 The grass withers and the flowers fade,
but the word of our God stands forever.”